Mick Claus
by joetwo
Two nights before Christmas and here in the lab
No one was working, except me, looking drab
I was there ’cause my boss was abundantly clear
I’d much work to do for my thesis next year
I mixed and I stirred, heated and decanted
The swore and shouted, kicked and then ranted
At the height of my anger, liable to do harm
I felt a light touch upon my left arm
I thought it a colleague, but found there instead
A jovial man, in a lab coat, bright red
On his head an elf hat, neatly tied back
On his feet hazmat boots, mint condition, in black
I asked somewhat fuddled who the hell this guy was
He said Santa’s brother, Professor Mick Claus
He sought out young men in pre-thesis strife
To take out and show there’s much more to life
So I, some innocent, playing the clown
Followed this guy for a night on the town
We saw all the pubs, the gigs and nightclubs
Sampled the best recreational drugs
Romanced the women, fought with the men
Put wagers on cock-fights held in a pen
I have to admit, that I had some fun
But quickly found time, out it had run
I went the next day to find my boss pissed
And found to my shock three weeks had I missed
Quickly I realised that that tub of lard
Made time go faster by partying hard
I was out in the doghouse, deep in the shit
My chances of finishing taken a hit
What more the fat bastard, left me a note
I’ll tell it right now, I learned it by rote
“I’ve come through the years to despise competition
So I hobble it early with my style of rendition
Your career now is over, you better give up
You’re screwed, merry Christmas, annoying young pup”
I was burned, that I know, but I’ve learned my lesson
Not be tempted by a pre-season session
So if you want a good Christmas, no story to sob
Just ignore the fat fellah and get on with your job.
Hahaha, this is great, Joe! Where do you come up with these wonderful ideas?
And my best wishes to you and your family for a wonderful, happy, healthy, and prosperous Holiday Season and New Year! Here’s to lots more poetry in 2012!
Thanks and the same to you.
hahaha… yah… your right… I enjoy reading this piece… Merry X’mas Joe…
Love it. Also did TWAS… parody.
http://misfitsmiscellany.wordpress.com/2011/12/24/twas-the-night-before-christmas-in-some-dodgy-house/
Haha, “recreational drugs” or “incidental medicine”? I have to go to bed now, but I promise I’ll come back to the others. 🙂
Glad you liked it. This is one of the few of my poems that I can recite from memory. And I do, regularly.