Have I told you lately
That you’re getting fat?
I despise you immensely, when you chew food like that
I’m leaving tomorrow, I’m taking the cat
Pure and simple, I want a divorce.
Have I made it quite clear
That I want you dead?
Each second beside you, my blood boils bright-red
You have no redemption, your family’s inbred
If you stop me, I may have to use force.
Have you gotten the message
Our marriage is through?
After two decades, I’m plain sick of you
I have a new lover, just turned twenty two
There’s no arguing, this is my will.
Have I gotten what letter?
That you froze my account
They took back my car, my bills they did mount
My new lover’s left me, I’ve just pennies to count
Take me back, winter’s starting to chill.