by joetwo

Life doesn’t have an instruction manual

But if it did

It should tell us always to lift with our knees

That the sun should never be stared at

That when in doubt, always check her age

It should warn us about phony friends

A guide to tell if your new girlfriend’s crazy

That a breakup should be handled with, dignity, respect

And far away from sharp objects

It should have chapters on all the popular drugs

Why you should never have a camera when you take them

Or how she is never as good-looking in the sober light of day

It should warn that laws are not there to be broken

That a judge seldom takes “I was drunk” as a defence

That a criminal records stays with you, as does an STI

Life doesn’t have an instruction manual

But then again

Life wouldn’t be half as fun if it did.