Poetry from a Dublin Scientist

Month: September, 2012

The Disabled Pigeon

I know you’re concerned

As you see me limp by

But I’ll be all right

For I can still fly

That I’ve lost a leg

I care not a jot

As long as two wing

Is what I have got

Cats still can’t get me

Food is still free

Who cares if I fall

When I sit in a tree

Life I’m still living

So go throw your bread

I might be disabled

But I’m not yet dead


A new beginning

When this month is at an end
Change will come to time I spend
Gone the life of a student
Now a proper job so prudent
Student rates no more for me
For I have money now you see
In time I’ll climb the corporate ladder
But freedom lost has made me sadder
For I consider it well spent
My lazy years as a student

Haikus 29/09/12

Tired so very tired
Not able or willing to wake
Best to stay in bed
Alarm blares constantly
Crying out for help to come
Or the correct code
Interview today
Prepared as well as I could
Now are in god’s hands

Morning bed

Snuggly lying in the bed
Pillow wrapping round my head
Light outside is still so dim
Chance of getting up is slim
Sheets so soft and very nice
The air outside feels cold like ice
Although I must be getting late
My need for rest I cannot sate
In the end, much can be said
About a morning spent in bed

A little piece of home

Here it is, it is mine

My little piece of home

My desk, my computer, my office

Made from flat pack, cubicle sameness

But made mine, by the little things

Cosmetic changes

Scent-marking if you will

Paper spread in a unique haphazard fashion

Stuffed toys, calenders, pictures

Decaying coffee cups and a bar wrapper taking on a life of it’s own

They are all supposed to be the same

Soul sacrificed to uniformity

But this place is mine

Disordered to my tastes

A little piece of home

A little part of me in the world

Limericks 27/09/12

There was a young puppy called Polly

Who loved to suck on a lolly

She’d travel about

With the sweet in her mouth

Acting all happy and jolly


A dog smaller than a rat

Once tried to attack a large cat

Said the cat “What is this?

Are you taking the piss?

Is that small or am I getting fat?”


My dog, she wanted a sleep

So onto the bed she did leap

And though I am neat

When she’s on the sheet

It gets piled into a heap

An ode to Total Recall (the old one, not the new sparkly version)

Arnie and Ironside

A young Sharon Stone

Acting so awful

It’ll leave your mind blown

Three breasted mutants

Midgets with guns

From one twisted mind

Paul Verhoeven’s

It leaves my brain spinning

How mad this film is

Holograms and Martians

And much more than this

That poor Douglas Quaid

Wherever he goes

Mayhem, guns shooting

The body count grows

It’s a bloody movie

No doubt about that

From both good guy and baddie

Like Benny, the rat

In the end Arnie’s saying

“Is it all a dream?”

Well my mind needs resetting

Neurons turned to cream

If you want a nuts movie

With blood, guts and all

No need to go further

Than Total Recall

Scientific Writing

A story told in neutral

Devoid of emotion or real substance

Minute details emphasised

A how-to manual for those who know

Yet somehow lacking

Lacking the wonder

The joy

The intensive feeling

Of discovering, knowing

Expanding the reach of man

Of knowledge

Of seeing into the universe

And making out a little more

All that is great

Silenced in the reporting

Ig Nobel Haikus

Look at Eiffel tower

Lean slightly to the left please

Makes it look smaller


Old guns and bullets

Made into sparkling gem stones

Far more valuable


Try the SpeechJammer

Hear yourself with a delay

Know what others hear


All that equipment

So big and expensive

Makes Zombie salmon


Chemistry puzzle

Not energy or cancer

But why’s your hair green


Here is the report

On reports about reports

Write reports on it


Subtle interplay

Of tension and gravity

Makes a ponytail


Careful with that cup

Because forces of physics

Will make coffee spill


Who is that chimp there?

Can know easily with face

Also with their bum


In goes camera

Take these simple precautions

To prevent a bang


Written in honour of the 2012 ignoble prizes listed here. I only read them today. Gotta love them!

Wear it tight

Don’t wear a loose hat in a rainstorm

Or use an umbrella too

Just flying off, into the air

Is what they’ll do

Then left unprotected

You will get wet

A cold or the flu

Is what you’ll get

So take my advice

You’ll be alright

If you wear a hat

Make sure it’s on tight